First Comes Love, Then Comes Money Review

love and money review bethany scott palmer

This week’s book review is up the alley for many Couple Money readers. Bethany and Scott Palmer, also known as “The Money Couple,”  have a new book out about financial communication. I think it’s a handy book to review as one of the biggest reasons marriages break down is due to financial problems.

Some people mistakenly believe that if they brush over the topic, then they’ll avoid money arguments. That’s simply not true. It’s the lack of meaningful communication between spouses about finances that causes arguments.

With that in mind, I hope some of you find this book review helpful.

Basic Book Info

First Comes Love, Then Comes Money Overview love and money review bethany scott palmer

What’s Inside

If you’re curious about what First Comes Love…. covers, here is the table of contents:

  • The Truth About Financial Infidelity
  • Discovering Your Money Personality
  • When Money Personalities Collide
  • How Bad Is It? Finding Your Financial Infidelity Quotient
  • Confronting the Causes of Financial Infidelity
  • Eight Simple Rules for Fighting Fair
  • The Money Dump: Getting It All on the Table
  • The Key to Restoring Your Financial Relationship

As you can see the focus is less about the numbers and more about the habits and communication. The Palmers noted that they could help families fix their finances over time, but if the underlying communication problem wasn’t fixed, the money problems came back.


Besides eight chapters worth of information, the Palmers include more if you want to delve just a bit deeper and get some more tips on dealing with money as a team.

  • Money Personalities at a Glance
  • Money Huddle Quick Tips
  • The Money Couple Answers Your Questions

The first section of the book encourages you to look at each other’s money personality and discover why conflicts happen. It ends with some case studies on different money personalities and the most common problems they have interacting with one another.

The second section discusses actually has a small test you and your spouse can take to discover your Financial Relationship Index.  You can then tackle which of the five financial categories of financial infidelity concern you the most:

  • Overspending & Debt
  • Financial Separation
  • Lack of Planning
  • Control
  • Secrets

Finally the last section offers some specific tips on talking about money with one another. My favorite chapter was about fighting fair and the rules of engagement:

  1. Commit to Making It Work
  2. Start with New Expectations
  3. Diffuse the Situation
  4. Stay Focused on the Problem at Hand
  5. Think About Your Money Personalities
  6. Search for Solutions
  7. Expect to Blow It
  8. Extend Grace

The book seems to flow well from section to section and I do like how it goes from concepts to tips. Looking at the big picture before tackling the details seems more beneficial for most couples.

Thoughts on the Money Couple’s New Book

My overall impression of this book is positive. I think couples who are having problems seeing eye to eye would benefit from reading and discussing the book. It’s meant to be a springboard for some honest communication.

I’d love to hear feedback from others that have read the book. What did you think about it? What chapter was most helpful for you? What was the least helpful?


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